A story about New Year’s Resolutions

 I set a New Year’s resolution last year to run a “marathon a month” and run 26.2+ miles each month (spread out, I’m not that kind of runner lol). Setting that goal as a monthly target felt attainable and just enough of a stretch goal that I felt motivated to complete it.

And I did. But it came at a cost I hadn’t expected and certainly didn’t want.

It cost me my love of running.

I truly did love it, and I used it as a great mental release. But I ruined it with that New Year’s resolution. I essentially swore off running after I hit my goal. After running 315.87 miles in 2021, I was beyond done. It wasn’t enjoyable after I’d turned it into such a chore.

Sure, I was happy and proud of myself for keeping my resolution; but looking back, I wish I hadn’t set it and hadn’t turned it into such an all-or-nothing kind of endeavor.

So this year, in 2022, I ran exactly zero miles.

I don’t know when I’ll run again.

I do know that resolutions often come at a cost. Whether it’s our time, energy, money, effort, attention, love of something, or a combination of things…something goes into making it happen.

I make a list of goals now instead of a list of resolutions. Resolutions, for me, are non-negotiable things I must keep. Goals have a bit of grace and room for pivoting. I still try to reach and exceed my goals, but I don’t place the same gravity & urgency on them as I do my resolutions.

I have 14 goals for 2023, and just one resolution. The same resolution as 2022. I kept it this year, and God-willing we’ll make it happen again in the next.

My resolution for 2023 is to maintain my recovery.

By keeping it, I have a chance to live in today and in all the todays to come. Not only to live; but to live fully and deeply, purposefully and full of possibility.

My recovery has given me a life I want to keep living. It’s given me everything.

And everything is worth keeping.❤️